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yeah ok questions about me hmm lets see ok FIRST the fuck of all what happened to ben stiller He was deemed a heretic, and was crucified on the Washington Monument by some clowns. wow Due to his dedication to freedom and peace, he came to be seen as a martyr, and then a holy figure. He was left on the monument as an example to all, but thousands of faithful gathered below to gaze up at his pious, sort of gaunt face. For years thereafter, his followers would carve stone busts of him in his memory, capturing the piercing glare of his final expression. But they were all smashed to pieces by the presidential church. That religious movement didn't last very long. Rumor has it the batterwitch had a lot of experience crushing righteous insurrections. did my adult self get pissed about stiller i bet he got pissed Yeah. There was a whole series of final insults that led to his active rebellion, instead of just producing subversive media. At one point, the witch "remastered" all of his films to clean up all the shitty artifacts, and released them in stunning high-def quality all over the world, using a rational business model and everything. That REALLY set him off. what the fuck how fucking dare that woman so then he tried to kill the batterwitch right who is the same exact alien as the condesce in this session?? Yes. Same one. And yeah, he teamed up with Rose from the same era. They supposedly put up a good fight, but both died. so... does john know that he is literally about to go fight betty crocker yet or what I have no idea. I really don't know John at all, or any of your friends. I know Jane was the heiress to the Crocker brand. Uh, obviously? It is her name after all. Was John the heir to that empire in his universe? nah i mean not to my or his knowledge he just fuckin hated that company for some reason i think his reason was literally as mundane as just being slightly overexposed to cake thats classic john though he doesnt get pissed about anything except for the absolute dumbest shit but i guess his instincts were right in this case maybe we should just not tell him that hes fightin crocker i think the poor dude has probably had enough mental breakdowns for one adventure we all have I'd like to get to know him. Not to mention Rose and Jade. Would have been nice to hang out and chat, in a circumstance where we weren't supposed to prepare for an imminent deadly struggle. yeah well i guess we could have hung out there a few minutes longer i mean you wouldnt have got much outta jade who is stuck in perma-nap mode just like old times i guess Huh? she used to sleep a lot Ah. but yeah there wasnt much time except for like a bunch of heys and oh nice to meet yous and also i think i would have still been a shitty train wreck socially if we all just hunkered down right then and there for another extensive round of freestyle paltalk Right, I was kind of nervous about lingering there for more than a minute too. Mainly because of Jake. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I think I have done enough of that. i guess jake was kinda like your john of the group huh wait that was a pretty dumb observation never mind Nah, sounds about right. Seems like John was your close buddy growing up, and Jake was mine. john and i never really had anything like a falling out except for not talkin to each other for a few years on account of being on a meteor and boat respectively but i guess you two had some buddy troubles or somethin? Yes. A lot of buddy troubles. I vaguely touched on it earlier. I was a really bad influence in his life. what happened A lot of things, that were mostly my fault. Basically, I think I bullied him into dating me. Although I had plenty of "help" from my Auto-Responder. There were a lot of insane plans that he hatched on my behalf. But in fairness, I went along with them. To this day, I can't really tell how much of that bullshit was his doing, and how much was mine, which I've just covered up through denial or selective memory. wait you you dated jake? Yeah. That didn't last long though. It was really lopsided and kind of forced. ... so you ... hmm What? nothing i think were breakin one of the rules here this tangent got too personal Oh yeah. I forgot we weren't doing that.
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