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Didn't I mention, master dogg Our mutual bro is here That is, right here With me We are kind of in the process of chilling together at the moment No, you didn't mention that actually. That would have been a pretty fucking important thing to mention up front, don't you think? As opposed to stringing me along with all that atrocious lactation bullshit. Yes I guess I did kind of bury the lede there Maybe I just wanted to talk We never talk, Dirk You are without a doubt the shittiest mystical guide anyone has ever had. I am not sure about that Dave says he had a similarly ty guide once Do you remember our puppet, Dirk? Cal? Yes What kind of stupid question is that. How could I forget the C man? He was a true friend. Which is more than I can say for some people. A good friend in the plush, yes, but as a sprite he was apparently insufferable See, you don't realize how lucky you are to have a guide like me Cal was his sprite?? Yes, for a while Then Dave went back in time and became one himself Now he is part bird Did I mention he's part bird? Uh, no? Again, that's the exact kind of information that should be appearing higher up in our conversations. Of course, this means he is not the Real Dave Davesprite served as Real Dave's sprite But he is only the unreal version of Dave insofar as I am the unreal version of you By which I mean, a much improved version I must say, while the troll part of me doesn't give a silly figging shoot about any of this, the part of me that splintered from you has found the brotherly reunion to be everything which you and I dared not imagine, and more Bird Dave and I are getting along famously and STRENGTHENING our familial bonds like a sweet pair of mother I feel our kinship goes beyond geneti% though We are misfits, estranged, he from Dave's alpha timeline, I from Dirk's alpha soul A two man menagerie of sideshow frickups, together at last Fle%ing and flapping Fraternally and eternally I don't get it. Are you trying to rub this in my face or something? Neigh, braj As your buff mystical guide slash personal trainer I am suggesting that if you were willing to contact me as a matter of last resnort, you might want to at least consider reaching out to him as well It sounds like you've already cornered the market on this reunion shit. Wouldn't I just be a third wheel? I didn't mean Bird Dave I meant Real Dave Oh. He's there too? Not with us He is here though, somewhere You should message him ... It's not like you don't have a few hours to kill What else are you going to do out there Pick at your pantaloon wedgies? I dunno. Messaging him out of nowhere sounds like it could be... Awkward? Yes, I canter magine it won't be At least at first This isn't how I thought it would go. What would I even talk about? I advise you to talk about your interests Like dairy Livestock Fine art And muscles Those are your interests. Good point I advise you to talk about my interests
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