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So. Best birthday ever? Or best FUCKING birthday ever. Ha. In the interest of appeasing the irony gods, let's go with the latter. Whatever role I played in ruining your party. Sorry about that. Oh lord. The LAST thing I give a shit about is my stupid "sweet sixteen". What a farce. I was trying to act as if we were all living normal well adjusted lives, albeit in a marvelous fantasy setting populated by skeletons. And if only we just had some cake and wore some hats and I blew out all the candles in one big puff, we could pretend all the problems we had with each other would magically stop existing. And the most horrifying thing of all is, I actually got my wish! Haha. Thanks, Calliope. Oh well. I'm sure she had good intentions. Yeah. I still think I've been pretty lousy to you. I had my head up my ass for a while there. By the time your birthday came around, I was kinda freaking out about Jake. I thought I had the situation under control. But I didn't. Not just with Jake, but with respect to pretty much everything. I understand. Boy, you really let him have it back there! I guess so. I had a similar meltdown with him earlier. I'm not going to lie. It felt really good. Heh. At least, it did at the time. I only wish I could have stayed as lucid as you during our... Transformation. How did you manage that? It wasn't on purpose. Actually if I had a choice, I probably would have just said, fuck it. Sugar shock my brain, please. Suffice to say, I have trouble escaping from myself. It's kind of a problem. Let's not talk about it though. Please continue. Okay. So instead of keeping my cool like you, I just started gushing over him like a lovestruck loon, surrendering any sliver of dignity I might have earned by telling him off earlier. I just cannot believe some of the things I said. Oh God. I told him I wanted to get married and have babies!!! Yeah but to be fair, by the time you came looking for me, all three of you were saying that to anything that moved. I know! But... It's one thing to write off something you say to an altered state of mind. But what makes the admission so mortifying to me is... I actually MEANT it. And I'm sure he must know that by now. And now I feel so humiliated I just want to die. I would ask him to shoot me right here, if I could bring myself to say a word to him. Somehow I don't think he's up to the task. Which is doubly unfortunate, since that's literally what we all came here to do. Speaking personally, I'd probably run this sword through my own dick before I could bring myself to kill Roxy. Even for her own good. So. When the chips are down, I guess that's how much of a badass I really am. Woo!!! We are all such WINNERS. Yeah, our moxie's off the fuckin' charts.
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