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Jake. It seems you are going to have to kiss me. What????? Dude what is going on... Is this... is this really dirks head??? What happened to him! Dirk's dead, Jake. You have to bring him back to life. How?! I already told you. If you want Dirk to live. The odds that you are going to have to make out with this severed head are so high, I literally just confiscated their bong. Uhh. I refuse to believe my statement has left you unconvinced. The very notion is absurd. Now hurry up and kiss me. Chop chop. I dont understand! Are you saying i have to kiss him... like uh... on the lips... while you stare at me through his sunglasses like a weirdo?? Yes. That doesnt make any sense! Can you actually tell me whats going on?! What happened to him? I told you, Jake. Dirk is dead. He is lying on the floor of Roxy's room, headless, four hundred and thirteen years in the future, while the universe is about to be destroyed. If you don't kiss me soon, he will be dead forever. So... If i kiss him his headless body will hop up and start prancing about or... Will he grow a new head??? No. His dream self will take over as the new Dirk. But only if you hurry up and do it. But like... If hes dead in the future... How does kissing him NOW bring him back? How does that work? Yeah, great idea. Let's roll up our sleeves on nuanced metatemporal mechanics with the concussion-addled kid in micro-shorts. Leave the synchronization issues to me, ok? I have everything under control. Now pucker up. Wait... Are you behind these shenanigans? Did you plan this auto responder??????????
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