Dirk: Retrieve juju.
This is probably a dumb question, but you don't really care about "causal spoilers," do you? YES. THAT'S uNBELIEVABLY DuMB TO ASK. Like, you don't mind telling me I'm about to pick up Cal, and thus causing that to happen. So I guess you similarly wouldn't mind telling us about more significant outcomes? IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T MIND. IT'S THAT I FAIL SPECTACuLARLY TO GIVE A SHIT. THERE IS SuCH A BIG DIFFERENCE. AND THE FACT THAT I MIGHT NOT CLuE YOu INTO YOuR FATE ALL THE TIME. DuE TO MY AGGRAVATED APATHY OVER THE MATTER. IS AN IMMuTABLE FACT. I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT GIVING A SHIT IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE. I feel like you've said something like that before. Different statements, but in that exact syntax. OH. YOu KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE? WHEN THAT FuCKING HAPPENS. Wait. You mean it wasn't intentional? I thought it was kind of like... this thing you were doing. SHuT uP. YOu KNOW WHAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. AND I DON'T CARE. I THINK IT'S REGRETTABLY LIKELY. THAT YOu SuCCEED. I THINK THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE TEND TO DO. WHEN THEY ARE REGARDED AS LEGENDS BY OBSESSIVE ASSHOLES. SO MAYBE YOu ALL DIE. OR MAYBE YOu DON'T. BuT IF YOu DON'T. I'LL TAKE SOLACE IN THE FACT. THAT IT MEANS I STILL GET THE CHANCE TO KILL YOu. HOW ABOuT THAT? FOR CAuSAL SPOILERS? Fair enough. Hey, you know... For someone who has such strong opinions about long winded people, You've kinda been talking my ear off. I do actually have shit to do. uGH. YEAH. SEE HOW YOu PEOPLE SuCK ME INTO YOuR BuLLSHIT? I SHOuLD HAVE KEPT IT BRIEF. AND SuRLY. LIKE I WAS GOING TO. LIKE JuST SAID. "HELLO DIRK." "I WANT TO PLAY A GAME." AND THEN LIKE. "BRO." "ROOF. NOW." "BRING JuJu." AND THAT'S IT. YEAH. THAT WOuLD HAVE BEEN GOOD. COLD FuCKING BLOODED. TO THE POINT. DAMMIT. That actually sounds familiar too. Are you sure you haven't said something like that before? HAVE I? FuCK. I DON'T KNOW. WHATEVER. Anyway, let's wrap this up. You've stolen enough of my time. I didn't even get a chance to try plugging in that window. I DID YOu A FAVOR. ANOTHER POINTLESS ACTION STRICKEN FROM THE TIMELINE. Hang on. Something's happening.
Browse the full HOMESTUCK archive