==>
THE LOATHSOME FALSE PERSON. WITH THE FLOPPY LIMBS. IN DERSITE ATTIRE. YOu LIKE TO NAP WITH. Oh, Lil Cal? No, man. Lil Cal is the shit. THAT THING IS NOT THE SHIT. IT IS AN uNCANNY GRINNING MOCKERY. A BAD OMEN. YOu SHOuLD CHOP IT uP AND BuRN IT. No way, dude. He's my best friend. HOW FuCKING SAD IS THAT?? I'M JuST TRYING. FOR ONCE. AND THE ONLY TIME EVER. TO BE HELPFuL. THOSE THINGS. YOu DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. A kickass ventriloquist doll? I've been given reason to believe it once belonged to my bro. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. WHAT YOu BELIEVE. THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON FOR THOSE TO EXIST. IT IS TO TuRN THE LIFE OF EVERYONE WHO OCCuPIES THE SAME uNIVERSE WITH IT. INTO A NIGHTMARE. Is that one of your alien folk stories? YES. BuT IT ALSO. IS TRuE. GET RID OF IT. You could argue that my life is already kind of a nightmare, so there's no point in getting rid of him now. Either way, I'm gonna hang on to him. YOu STuBBORN FuCK. FINE. MAYBE IT DOESN'T MATTER. MAYBE YOuRS IS uNTAINTED? I DON'T KNOW. COuLD BE. ITS EYES LOOK... DEAD TO ME? MAYBE YOu LuCKED THE FuCK OuT. WITH YOuR PARTICuLAR JuJu. I honestly had no idea you were this superstitious. You're a pretty fascinating guy, in a way. I can't really figure you out. In case you're wondering why I put up with you more than my friends do. I WASN'T. NOW ARE YOu GOING TO GO GET IT. OR WHAT. Why do you want me to get Cal so bad? I DON'T! JuST THAT. I SAW YOu. SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF NOW. CLIMBING TO THE ROOF WITH THAT THING. SO APPARENTLY. IT'S REQuISITE FOR GETTING THE FuCK ON WITH STuFF?? DuMBASS. Ok. So, some self-fulfilling shit, then. I was hoping for a better reason. WHATEVER. DON'T TAKE IT. MAKE A PARADOX HAPPEN. WORKS FOR FuCKING ME. At this point I'm leaning toward grabbing him just cause he seems to bother you so much. WELL. I'VE HEARD OF WORSE REASONS FOR ACTING LIKE A STuPID PIECE OF SHIT.
Browse the full HOMESTUCK archive