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I didn't send it. I sent the parts. Or, correction, DS sent them. You then assembled it. You were therefore complicit in your own spectacular, daily humiliations. Yeah whatever. You wanted somebody to wrestle with. DS was being a kickass bro if you ask me. I didn't expect it to be nigh impossible to spar with!!! You know damn well there are adjustable difficulty settings. I have always recommending setting it to Novice, as has DS. Yes. I know. Ive tried that. Yeah? Its just... Well... When hes pulling punches... And taking it all easy and such... And we start wrestling up a storm and whatnot... Umm. What. Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become... A bit tender for my liking. I don't understand. Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting? Sparring with minimal discomfort? No i know. Its all fine and dandy martially speaking. Just the way he... Sort of... Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind. No, I think I get it. You're saying you were somehow dissatisfied within the presence of my robotic avatar's personal space. Was there an odor problem? Was the metal too hot to the touch? Help me out. No no. Really never mind! This is bullshit, Jake. We had a pact. You were gonna tiptoe all the fuck around my brittle feelings. Totally mind the shit out of those eggshell riddled motherfuckers. Oh come on dude. What does the guy have to do, Jake? You want to wrestle. He's fucking game. Just a man, a machine, a secluded tropical island. Sounds like you died and went to fucking heaven, if you ask me. Seriously, what does this simple, loyal brobot have to do to prove his worth to you? What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know. Maybe he should just rip his heart out of his chest and pound it into green gravel there in the jungle with his hella strong robot arm. Invoke_Onomatopoeia(Pound * some ridiculously precise value retrieved at astonishing speed from my rad neural net); Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient. Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin' DNA and shit. ... But gosh does your prose ever make a fella feel uncomfortable. Brose. Oh right. My mistake. You know what, I've just decided. If the brobot's Novice setting makes you uneasy, I'm going to disable it remotely. Done. Now you got nothing to worry about. Awww maaaan! But now hell be impossible! Happy hunting, Jake. Fuckin....... SHUCKS buster. :(
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