Jake: Answer Strider.
Hey, it's me. Oh hey! The auto-responder, I mean. Dammit! What is it now? I'm just wondering, If you still have your stupid old-fangled knickers in a twist. Because that's the sort of thing you would say. In regard to what exactly? To my proposal. Well, our proposal. Whose proposal now? Man what are you even prattling about. Mine and DS's. It's a joint proposal. I'm always authorized to speak on his behalf, because I'm basically fucking him. And try not to take those last four words as a clustered literal sentiment. That would be lame and unfunny. You mean making the rabbit for me? No, I know you don't want that. I meant my recommendation for how to go about procuring a new supply of uranium. Operation U-235 Brocurement. Codename: Big Man Hass the Rock. Oh yeah. Well ive thought about it. Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. Well yeah, Jake. That's sort of the point. Thrill of the hunt and all. I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. I do! I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win. It seems you are conflating adventure with bodies necessarily governed by the result of victory or defeat. Any useless fuckwit knows it's all about the journey. Well... I dunno. It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake? It seems it seems it seems!!! It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! And it seems there is a BILLION POINT BILLION percent chance that youre a shitty stubborn jerk of a program who wont listen to reason and that if theres even a 1% chance my REAL LIFE FRIEND would be cool and help me out here then i think i LIKE THOSE FREAKIN ODDS!!!!! It... Appears That you are upset. The auto-responder observed in the least artificially infuriating way possible. Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? Oh malarkey. YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS. I think you knowingly confuse the field of robotics and artificial intelligence to engender some sort of cavalier attitude about technology that a rough-and-tumble guy who's all about brawling and fisticuffs would probably have, and if this is cultivated to a humorous effect then I commend you. But you're wrong. I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. It sucks. Oh. Um. Im sorry then if thats the case. No problem. It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me... I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct... uh... THING from my buddy. And then i could respect your emotional robofeelings and you could respect that sometimes maybe i just want to talk to my bro without a lot of spurious hijinks. Can we agree to this? Is this a counterproposal? Uh to what? To my earlier proposal. Oh. Yeah fine i guess. Man where IS he anyway??? Is he taking one of his legendary infinite showers? What can I say. Dude fancies his ablutions. Frig ok. Whatever i guess its time to prepare for the thrill of the hunt! Fuck yes. Sigh... But seriously that brobot has been the bane of my existence ever since you sent it.
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