[o] ==>
excuse me, alien time troll, but i am TRYING to wrap a present. really, you all have the worst timing. Yes, I can see that. Two ugly garments, and seeds for some kind of strange earth vegeta8le? Pretty lame present, John!!!!!!!! nope, not going to ask how you know my name, or what i'm sending, don't care. and one of these ugly garments is for me, also, it's not ugly, it's awesome. Not as awesome as something you will 8e wearing later, thanks to me. uh oh, my mouse is hovering dangerously close to the block button! it always does that when i talk to trolls, it is the dangdest thing. Calm down, I just thought I would foreshadow my existence to you at this quaint moment on your timeline. It is way too tempting not to let you know I have taken gr8 care to 8ecome a very important feature of your life. Or for that matter, to let you know that I will 8e giving you a present so much 8etter than the useless crap you're shoving in that 8ox. I will 8e giving you the gift of immortality! oh sweet, that has been on my wish list, ranking just below a mint condition little monsters poster, starring hollywood superstar, howie mandel. can i expect it to arrive on my next birthday?? Yes, as a matter of fact. Nice guess! It will come at a cost though. the mandel poster, or immortality? The latter, jackass! In order for you to claim it, you will have to 8e quite gulli8le and allow me to arrange your murder. i see, here is where all the sick trolling begins! you can keep your present, i am not interested. 8ut you will 8e! You will happily go along with everything I tell you to do. And then, once I have completely earned your trust, I will kill you John. ::::) sigh... the other troll i just talked to was way better, if a tad grumpy, at least she was down with talking about cool movies, sort of. 8ut this is all true. I've seen it already. You have no idea how delicious the dramatic irony is right now! You will die. I will lead you into a trap, and watch you 8leed to death on a 8ig stone sla8 with a sword stuck in your chest. There is nothing you can do a8out it. In fact, it has already happened! that's nice. now scram, troll! I'll leave you alone soon enough. I was just feeling pretty pleased with myself, a8out all the 8rilliant plans I made for you and your friends. Stopping 8y in your past to mess with your head is really just a courtesy, 8ecause I like to think we're pretty good friends 8y the time I get around to killing you. ::::D ok, you got me! my feathers are all ruffled, and i can no longer tell my ass apart from a big orange earth vegetable! now can you leave me alone? I guess so. 8ut my inevita8le grisly murder of you notwithstanding, you're a pretty fun guy to hassle. It'll 8e difficult sparing you from the privilege of my company until your game 8egins. that is basically the worst pickup line i have ever heard. Please, John. As if there is any conceiva8le sequence of events which could lead me to consider you as a via8le romantic partner, in any quadrant. Even the pale ones. blurp durp bluh, more plausible alien sounding things. weren't you leaving? Yes. ok then... I mean, I was going to. 8ut now I guess I'm not. oh. why? 8ecause this isn't really happening. it isn't? It did, once. 8ut now it's just a memory. I guess I must 8e dead.
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