==>
rose please say something you are making me nervous... I should have gone looking for her. Why didn't I? umm because you were busy trying to make the best of this situation? John was too. But he went to look for his father. It would have been normal of me. I can't remember what I was trying to prove anymore. i dont think you should be so hard on yourself about it john was being john, and you were being you, which i guess meant taking our problems very seriously and putting all your attention on solving them! and anyway, you and your mom had a much trickier relationship than john and his dad didnt you? i mean, not that i am saying that means you were any less attached to her than him... argh, i dont know if im very good at consoling people. sorry rose i dont want to make you feel worse :( You're doing fine. For someone raised by a dog. Or really, Anyone. Thanks. whew, ok you know... now we have all lost guardians dave lost his, and i lost mine in a weird way... uuum even though that was pretty much definitely my fault :\ and even the trolls all lost their monster guardians i think that maybe it is an inevitable part of a game that can be cruel sometimes For some reason, despite all the danger, I never thought she was in any trouble. I never believed she would actually die. I grew up with the feeling that something more significant had always been meant for her. That she was a heroine displaced in some way, resigned to the inglorious duty of raising me, and preparing me in her way. I didn't actually need the ectobiological verification that she was like a mother and a sister at the same time. I always understood that somehow. And I felt she had knowledge and ability beyond what she let on. It was always intimidating, but nonetheless a source of respect which was childishly begrudging on my part. I think she was just waiting for me to catch up with her. But now I can't. ...... i am so sad rose i think you are being stronger about it than i am Probably because my emotions have now ceded to anger. This shouldn't have happened. oh well i just hope you arent thinking of doing something rash I already was. I was going to go to sleep, fly to a sun bigger than our universe, drop a bomb in it, and kill myself. yeaaah... So if my course of action is to change on account of my mood, it can only become less impetuous, don't you think? errrr, i dont know? You never liked my plan very much anyway. wellllll no! but i was trusting that you had thought it through and it was our best hope I'm not sure if I did. Maybe it was a terrible plan. I made it without a full understanding of the nature of the Scratch. hm then what will you do? I could stop being so cowardly, for once. I could short circuit this endlessly expanding game of chess we're playing, just like Jack decided to do. what does that mean! Maybe I will go kill Jack myself. Right now. oh no no no no no! rose that is a much much worse plan!!!!! he would probably kill you! Probably. But the Scratch will wipe us out anyway, and reboot the conditions of our session. I suddenly don't feel much like sneaking through the back door of the Furthest Ring for retribution by distant super nova. i know what you mean, i was angry at jack and wanted to stop him too, but we have to think of a more sensible way to do it Whether my existing plan was sensible or not, I may have been allowing myself to be manipulated by an omniscient being regardless. what? who? Hello ladies. aaaaaaa whaaaaat????? This is a private conversation. Private even to those who know it word for word already. Proceed. I will be here. Watching. rose who is this! Ignore him. i dont even know whats going on anymore You were discussing Ms. Lalonde's intrepid new variation on suicide. As one with a passion for the subject, I'm intrigued. Shh. Anyway, if it's true the gods have "selected" me for service, maybe the power they've given me will be sufficient. Maybe they wanted me to kill him all along. Hee hee. SHHHHHHHHHH! please dont rose, i know you are angry but you arent thinking straight But I am. I'm fully aware I'll probably die and fail. Scratch happens, we start fresh. No recollection, no problem. nooo :( Jade, as an ambassador of Skaia, maybe you'd be willing to talk some sense into your friend? You should understand she's been corrupted by various entities with some rather questionable motives. rose, maybe white text guy is right? the dark gods gave you all these powers, and seem to be helping us with dream bubbles and stuff... but what if they are not actually good? They are enormous, ugly, and live in darkness. That doesn't necessarily make them bad. no... but i still dont trust them! If only there were a way to make this determination with certainty. Through a reliable source within reach, for instance, at this exact moment. Perhaps one that is spherical, and devastatingly handsome. whats this weirdo talking about! The cue ball. oh yeah i noticed you found it! i was worried it had been destroyed when my r…
Browse the full HOMESTUCK archive