John: Pester Karkat.
karkat!!! hey buddy, you were making me worried there... are you ok? WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET GLOBE TICKLING FUCK. EGBERT, I JUST GOT DONE ERUPTING A WHOLE VOLCANO OF MERCILESS FUCK YOU ON THE PRIMITIVE VILLAGE LOCATED SQUARELY ON YOUR CROTCH. ASSUMING THAT'S A SUITABLY TERRIBLE PART OF HUMAN ANATOMY FOR A VILLAGE IN JEOPARDY TO EXIST. errr... SHUT UP. HOW DARE YOU CONTACT ME WHILE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKWARDS MARCH OF HATE THROUGH YOUR TEDIOUS TIMELINE. oh god, this is not right! you aren't supposed to hate me anymore, you're supposed to be kinda my friend, sorta! when is this? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN IS THIS OK, LET ME JUST CHECK THE UNIVERSAL CLOCK WHICH KEEPS CONSISTENT TIME FOR ALL FRAMES OF REFERENCE AND ALL PLANES OF REALITY. IT'S HALF PAST YOU'RE A MORON. ok, duh! i know that. i mean, how many times have you talked to me before? WE JUST GOT DONE WITH OUR SECOND CONVERSATION. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS? AUGH! this isn't good, i need to talk to future you! WHY because it sounds like you're in trouble. i think maybe you are running from jack? OF COURSE WE'RE RUNNING FROM JACK, I JUST GOT DONE FUCKING TELLING YOU THAT. no, i know, but... *SIGN* I GUESS MY FUTURE CONVERSATIONS WILL INSTIGATE SOME MISGUIDED NEED FOR YOU TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME LATER ON. WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO HERE. I SWEAR, IT NEVER ENDS WITH THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE SHIT. EVEN AFTER THE GAME IS OVER. EVEN AFTER YOU LOSE IT! HOW UNFAIR IS THAT. ultimate riddle shit? I CAN TELL THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING TO BE A UTTER FUCKING JOY TO PARTICIPATE IN. I HONESTLY ENVY ANYONE IN THE POSITION OF NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH READING IT. BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT, JOHN, SO HERE WE GO. ARE YOU READY no, i just want to talk to future you. :( NO YOU DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME THE GUY IS A BASTARD.
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