John and Dave: Respond to memo.
?CG AT ?:?? opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY. CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. what CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. ok, i am here. oh, hi dave! hey what is going on in here? some kinda asshole rumpus looks like EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, I HATE YOU BOTH, ETC. ETC. ETC. NOW THAT THE PLEASANTRIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY, THERE IS IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO DISCUSS. THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT WHICH GUY CAN MANAGE TO BE THE HEFTIEST SACK OF SHAME GLOBES TO ONE ANOTHER. IT IS NOT ABOUT WHICH ONE OF US WILL MOST DECISIVELY ESCORT THE OTHERS "TO SCHOOL", WHERE THEY WILL RECEIVE A VAST HELPING OF "OH SNAP" RAMMED DOWN THEIR INSATIABLE IGNORANCE SHAFTS. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION WHICH I BELIEVE NEEDS TO TAKE PLACE HERE AND NOW, SO YOU WILL BOTH SHAPE YOUR SHIT UP AND PERHAPS BEGIN TO APPROXIMATE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EXCRUCIATINGLY RETARDED. ok later windbag STRIDER FUCK OFF AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK. yeah, dave, don't go! i think we should listen to what he has to say. YES, LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER DAVE. AS DUMB AS EGBERT IS, HE IS SMARTER THAN YOU AND IS THE RIGHTFUL SUPERIOR AMONG YOUR DREARY LITTLE PARTY. BUT I AM THE SUPERIOR OF BOTH OF YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DOING IS LISTENING TO ME. SO DAVE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND AND TAKE THIS SIMPLE BIT OF HATEFRIENDLY ADVICE: STOP HITTING ON TEREZI IMMEDIATELY, IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING TO WATCH. nah haha, dave you're hitting on terezi? really?? no but whatever he thinks im doing im not going to stop the guys jealous obviously he thinks his girlfriend has a thing for me and you know what hes probably right but what else is new just another lady from outer space mackin on me whatever chance she gets OH, HA HA! IF SMUG WAS A MOTORCYCLE, IT JUST JUMPED OVER A FUCKING CANYON. THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY, AND THEN COMMITS MASS SUICIDE. karkat, is terezi really your girlfriend? GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT! NOT THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC. ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT. pretty sure she is or he thinks she is or something made it pretty obvious when he started ranting at me months ago back when i suspected these trolls were full of shit but now look how far weve come theres not any doubt left about that at all EVEN IF THERE WAS ANYTHING GOING ON, WHICH THERE DEFINITELY [OOPS TIME TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AGAIN, ASSHOLE!] OUR ROMANCE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE JOKE THAT PASSES FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONCEPT. YOU ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT! THAT'S JUST ABSURD. right sounds like its time to get a clue she is over you dude what is so different about your romance? what's a quadrant? how many do you have? john god dammit stop embarrassing us first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on JOHN, I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING THE SMART ONE. DAVE IS NOW THE LEADER, EVEN THOUGH HE'S A SMUG SHITSTAIN WITH SHADES AND A POKER FACE. IF THERE WERE FIVE, THEY'D BE CALLED QUINTDRANTS, GET IT??? wow, okay! who cares, jeeeeeeeez. YES, EXACTLY. WHO CARES? AS FASCINATING AS A LECTURE ON ALL THAT WOULD BE, IT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. WHICH BRINGS ME TO A RELATED POINT OF BUSINESS. JOHN, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW MANY E'S YOU JUST TYPED THERE. THAT'S GOT TO STOP TOO. what does? STOP TALKING TO VRISKA. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS. what! no way. vriska's cool, i'll talk to her all i want! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU JACKASSES HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO. THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET. THESE PSYCHO GIRLS HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN EACH OF YOU KILLED AT LEAST ONCE TO MY KNOWLEDGE. well, yeah... but terezi killed me in an alternate timeline, so that isn't too bad i guess. plus, i am pretty sure that she is sorry about it. OH GOD, YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT? AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING UP TO THESE ANTICS YOU ARE BOTH FUCKING HOPELESS, I GIVE UP. k then bye SHUT YOUR SQUAWK GAPER AND STAY PUT. I'M NOT DONE. sounds like a loudmouth inferiority thing going on here to me like you dont want to acknowledge that your troll ladies find a couple of human dudes irresistible YOU DON'T GET IT. I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY VARIOUS BITS OF ALIEN PHYSIOLOGY YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF, THESE GIRLS ARE CLEARLY FLIRTING WITH BOTH OF YOU PRETTY HARD. THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE SWEPT YOU BOTH INTO THEIR SICK ASSASSINATION GAMES IS SADLY WHAT MAKES THIS OBVIOUS. THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. wait... are you saying that vriska is interested in me? like, romantically? EGBERT JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS! HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS" "BUCKAROO" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT smooth oh man. uh... YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT AND THEN FUCKI…
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