John: Pester someone's server player's server player.
hey dave! hey wow, it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it. has it i think the last time i talked to you, i was doing exactly what im doing now... which is blasting off from my house. or was it? wow, i can't remember... man who cares i mean thats great and all but i talked to you plenty more times since that from where im standing ive got to make this quick oh. you mean like the trolls? are you using the troll time chat gizmo? fuck no fuck that trollian horseshit its just regular old time travel im from the future oh ok. is this dave sprite? no just regular ordinary dave from the fucking future nothing special dude come on well, excuse me, but i still think time travel sounds kind of special. sorry you are so jaded by awesome shit! yeah ok it is awesome but im in a hurry what is it? i need to borrow some boondollars off you boondollars? i thought they didn't do anything. no they do do something what do they do? what do you think they buy shit its fucking money what do they buy? i cant answer all these questions dude youll find out anyway its not like youll even really need your money you you might as well give it to me uh... how much do you need? all of it oh, fuck that!!! man you just said you thought it was useless why do you care but you just said it wasn't useless! ill pay you back really? when? in the future if theres one thing im not short on its the fuckin future how far in the future are you from? i thought we only had something like 24 hours until, like... game over. yeah we do but chronologically ive been around for at least triple that wow. how... i don't get how that works! no shit your deal is wind not time youre on easy street what is there even to think about with wind like what angle to blow it at to fly a damn kite or how gentle its gotta be to make a picnic go swimmingly its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business leave it to the pros ok but, doesn't going back in time make an alternate reality? i thought that's what happened with dave sprite, he came back to make sure i didn't die and this is a new timeline now. yeah it can work that way or not ive been very careful this whole operation is strung together with stable time loops no timeline offshoots cause thats when daves start dying and that isnt no good for nobody daves, plural? yeah there are a bunch of daves running around the timeline oh, man. but they are all me i mean they will all become me and ill become them one way or another thats how stable time loops work shit takes a lot of planning and precise choreography ive got some help though help? sounds like you have been talkin' to some trolls! yeah they seem to be getting more talkative lately. man dont even get me started with that the 24 hour span of the reckoning is like some kind of critical spike in us dealing with troll bullshit i guess its just when the most shit is going down so they figure thats the best time to mess with us yeah, that makes sense. i guess since you've lived three days in one day, you've just been hassled that much more? i dont know man they seem to flock to me ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine heheh. so what is the future like? or uh, the 3x future... do we win??? oh you know noirs outta control rose is crazy jades crazier and youre well youre you and together were up to our bulges and miscellaneous bullshit alien physiology in hot sloppy shenanigans while hatching plans under our feathery asses like a bunch of cage free farm fresh motherfuckers but im not about to get into specifics cause this is complicated enough as it is and if i started ranting too much about the future id start sounding like one of these smug alternian shitheads and im not about to drop that retarded science on my good bro so im staying on track here speaking of which give me your money but... i worked hard saving up that money! i have a whole boonbuck now. oh christ only one well fuck nevermind then i thought youd have more by now but thats goddamn peanuts :( i mean ill take it anyway but damn tell me what you want with it! im working the system here using time loops to manipulate the incipispheres financial sector making a goddamn killing in the lohacse lohacse? lohac stock exchange um... lohac? my planet land of heat and clockwork dude come on you know like gears and lava and shit oh, huh. that sounds unpleasant. wrong it kicks ass your unpleasant face is what kicks ass! or DOESN'T, more like. egbert stfu and give me your goddamn boonbuck j3gus fuck ill turn it into a boonmint in an hour and youll get it back ok j3gus? *narrows eyes suspiciously...* no comment i don't even know how to give it to you! they are just more weird gaming abstractions, how do we do this? you can wire it to my account ill send you the app i'm really pretty busy you know. i have to help jade! i know but this takes like two seconds bluh... fiiiiiiiine. dude dont do theā¦
Browse the full HOMESTUCK archive