Kanaya: Confer with leader.
Your Speech Was Really Emotional OK I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED YOU BUSTING MY BULGE ABOUT THE SPEECH NOW. I'VE TAKEN ENOUGH SHIT. I GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP OK? AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, WHY DON'T YOU COME SAY IT TO MY FACE. I'M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS. I Dont Mean To Critique Your Speech I Just Wanted To Ask You Something In Confidence About The Humans OK, WHAT IS IT? Are You Sure Theyre Responsible For Our Misfortune YES. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Was It On Account Of Malice Or Incompetence I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BOTH? WHY DOES IT MATTER. It Sort Of Does Im Not Even That Sure Why This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand GOD DAMMIT. NO MORE MYSTERIES, PLEASE. YOU'D THINK WE'D HAD OUR FILL OF THEM BY NOW. IF I HAVE TO SOLVE ONE MORE RIDDLE, I'M GOING TO... I DON'T KNOW. Will Your Response Involve An Athletic Maneuver Of Some Sort NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. I WILL JUST GO OVER THERE AND WEEP GENTLY IN THE HORN PILE. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? Um WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS THEY ARE ALL LUDICROUSLY INCOMPETENT. SOFT, PINK FRAGILE THINGS WHO DO NOTHING BUT WASTE TIME. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE HORNS! What Really YEAH, I WAS LIKE, WHOA DID THEY GET FILED DOWN OR SOMETHING BUT NO IT TURNS OUT THAT'S JUST HOW THEY ARE. Weird THEY'RE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET. IT'S INFURIATING THEY WERE SOMEHOW ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY INFLUENCE OVER US. It Is Pretty Disheartening But You Are Absolutely Sure They Are All Failures And That They Have No Chance Of Succeeding YEP. IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE. Im Not Sure Which Depresses Me More The Sabotage Of Our Session Or The Futility Of Theirs WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. YOU'RE BEING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS. Well I Havent Asked What I Wanted To Ask THEN ASK!!! Its About TentacleTherapist YEAH. THAT'S THE ROSE HUMAN. SHE'S APPARENTLY PRETTY SARCASTIC. IT'S IN MY NOTES. You Have Notes On Them YES. I Guess Thats Why Youre Our Leader Karkat NO, I'M YOUR LEADER BECAUSE OF MY INCREDIBLE TACTICAL SKILLS AND MY ABILITY TO MOBILIZE AND MOTIVATE A BUNCH OF USELESS PEOPLE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL, AND BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY AMBITIOUS AND INTREPID. ALSO BECAUSE LEADERSHIP IS IN MY BLOOD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. Statements Like That Are Also Why Youre Our Leader OK, I'LL ACCEPT THAT. Have You Talked To Her WHO The Rose Human Also Do We Really Have To Say Things Like The Rose Human OF COURSE WE DO. IT SOUNDS SUITABLY DISDAINFUL. I MEAN, IF A BUNCH OF ALIENS STARTED HASSLING YOU, YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO ACT REALLY HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY, RIGHT?. WHICH WE ARE, OF COURSE. Uh Okay AND NO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER. I WILL PROBABLY STEER CLEAR OF HER FOR THE MOST PART. I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON THE JOHN HUMAN, AND PROBABLY ALSO THE JADE HUMAN, SHE'S A HUGE CULPRIT TOO. It Just Feels Really Silly When We Say Things Like The John Human In Confidence Amongst Ourselves WE HAVE TO COMMIT TO THIS. STAY IN CHARACTER, YOU KNOW? REMEMBER THE SPEECH. The Speech Has Become Emblazoned On My Think Pan Virtually Ensconced In The Fold Of My Personal Mythology DID YOU WANT TO TROLL HER? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE GREAT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. I Dont Know Im Not Sure If Ive Got It In Me Right Now COME ON. YOU'LL BE GREAT AT IT. PLEASE JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME. WE'VE GOT TO STAY COORDINATED ON THIS. TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS ARE GOING ROGUE. LIKE WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING. Fine GREAT! THANKS KANAYA. I'LL EXPECT A FULL REPORT SOON. A Report About What LIKE HOW HASSLED YOU GOT HER TO BE BUT LESS STUPID SOUNDING THAN THAT. Is There A Metric For That Concept NO WELL THERE COULD BE WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER". That Seems Just As Disparaging To Me As It Is To Her YEAH WELL USE IT AS MOTIVATION I GOTTA GET CRACKING HERE, LATER.
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