Karkat: Begin another memo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY. THIS IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO START A NEW MEMO. IN FACT IT'S A BETTER TIME THAN ANY BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF CHAT CLIENT PREDESTINATION I DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE DO I. FUCK. IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT'S STILL A GOOD TIME TO DO IT. PEOPLE, WE NEED TO GET ORGANIZED HERE. SHIT IS GETTING SERIOUS. WE ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON OPERATION REGISURP, A CUNNING PLAN DEVISED BY DOUBLE ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR TO EXILE THE BLACK QUEEN. WE WILL NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THIS, EVEN THE IDIOTS. AND ONCE AGAIN, A REMINDER DO NOT TROLL ME IN THESE MEMOS FROM ANY POINT IN TIME OR IT'S AN INSTA-BAN. ALSO A NOTE TO MY FUTURE SELF IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SAY SOMETHING SMUG, DO ME A FAVOR AND SHOVE A THROB STALK IN IT. JUST SIT THERE PATIENTLY AND WAIT FOR ME TO BECOME YOU IN THE DUE COURSE OF TIME, THUS IMPROVING YOUR INTELLECT DRASTICALLY. OR, INTELLECTS PLURAL. I FORGOT, THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE. ALL OF YOU, JUST ZIP YOUR CHUTES. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, LIKE THERE'S NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN THE FUTURE??? IT'S THE FUTURE FOR GOD'S SAKE, A REALM OF ENDLESS FUCKING POSSIBILITIES. NOW BEFORE WE GET STARTED, LET'S TAKE A TOLL OF THE SITUATION AT THIS POINT IN TIME. *MY* POINT IN TIME. WHO'S IN SO FAR, WHO'S NOT, ETCETERA. FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 3:11 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage NO, DUDE, DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. IF IT WERE UP TO HIM WE WOULD ALL DRINK FAYGO AT ONCE IN SOME RITUALISTIC RAP CLOWN SUICIDE PACT. BUT INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUICIDE THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE. i mean its not evven that bad its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point THIS ISN'T THE VENUE FOR AIRING YOUR FUTURE PROBLEMS, COUNT SEA DIPSHIT. i knoww i knoww its just i got a problem wwith feferi and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin OK, WELL I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo. BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT. OK. IS EVERYBODY GOOD? JUST GONNA SIT HERE FOR A MINUTE, LOCAL TIME, AND SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY SHIT THEY WANT TO SCRAPE OFF THEIR BULGE ON TO MY CLEAN NUTRITION PLATEAU. NOBODY? GREAT, WONDERFUL. I NOW OFFICIALLY DECLARE THE NONSENSE PORTION OF THIS MEMO TO BE OVER. THIS DECREE SHALL BE BINDING AND LASTING. BACK TO PLANNING REGISURP. BEAR DOWN EVERYBODY, THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT, THERE IS A QUEEN ON THE LOOSE AND WE'VE GOT TO SHOW A BITCH THE DOOR. FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. ::::D UN BE FUCKING LIEVABLE. Kaaaaaaaarkat! I'm sorry! 8ut do you have any idea how funny this thing is? I mean this whole thing???????? I can't stop laughing! HEY CAN FUTURE YOU MIND-PREVENT ME FROM HITTING THE BAN BUTTON? I'M GENUINELY CURIOUS! GO AHEAD, TRY TO STOP ME I DARE YOU. I'm not going to try, I'm just here to say this whole thing is ridiculous. We didn't really need you to pretend to 8e a little angry general to get any of this done. We kicked the queen out of there no sweat! It was easy. In fact, I did most of the work myself, right 8efore I found all the treasure and scaled all the rungs. OH, ALL OF THEM YOU SAY? FASCINATING. HEY FORGET THE BAN BUTTON, USE YOUR MIND POWERS TO HELP ME LOCATE THE DESPERATELY ATTEMPT TO GIVE A SHIT BUTTON. WHOOPS WE BOTH FAILED, IT DOESN'T EXIST. Hey, I'm gone. I just think you should relax. You were wound up so tight through the whole adventure, and now here in the present you're a8out to explode. It's insuffera8le! EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR THAT?? SUPERFUTURE VRISKA HAS AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FOR US ALL. WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR PRESENT RESPONSIBILIES AND OBLIGATIONS! BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, IN THE FUTURE ALL THAT STUFF ALREADY HAPPENED. WE'RE OFF THE FUCKING HOOK! TIME TO RELAX. LET'S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES. FIRST ONE TO START A WANK FIRE GETS A SHINY BOONDOLLAR. THIS IS AN ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER. Hahahahahahahaha. CCG banned FAG from responding to memo. LATER, FAG. TOO BAD THE ACRONYM WASN'T "HAG" INSTEAD, IT WOULD HAVE SUITED YOU MUCH BETTER. INSTEAD OF THAT NONSENSE WORD MAYBE ITS ASSOCIATION WITH YOU WILL COLLOQUIALLY CAUSE IT TO TAKE ON A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION, WHAT DO YOU THINK? MAYBE FAG WILL BE "THE NEW BURN!" EVEN THOUGH IT REALLY MEANS NOTHING IN OUR LANGUAGE. I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS STUPID, FORGET IT OK I'M RAMBLING HERE, I'M AWARE OF THAT. FUTURE ME, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE WEIGH IN ON THIS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT…
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