Back in the present...
But not too far into the present. Right around this moment, with Karkat and the toilet, during a conversation we have already read , which ended like this: OH BOY YOU N33D TO G3T W1TH TH3 PROGR4M K4RK4T H4V3 YOU T4LK3D TO 44 44 WHAT? 4POC4LYPS34R1S3N SORRY NO, OF COURSE NOT. OR T4 OR 4G 1 GU3SS OR C4 R34LLY TH3R3S L1K3 TH1S WHOL3 CONSP1R4CY 4BOUT TH1S 4S 1M F1ND1NG OUT WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME SO I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANY OF THOSE DOUBLETALKING ASSHOLES. 1 C4NT! 1 GOTT4 ST3P OUT OF TH3 TR33 FOR 4 MOM3NT WH3N 1 COM3 B4CK 1 W1LL 3NT3R TH3 G4M3 CY4! gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] Psssssssst. Hey 8rave leader. OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME. Can I join your team? YES I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BECAUSE THERE IS A WIDE OPEN SLOT FOR THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING SOCIOPATH WHO EVER LIVED. YOU REALLY HELPED ME OUT OF A JAM BY STEPPING FORWARD. Vile 8acksta88ing sociopath? Karkat, did you copy and p8ste that phrase directly from your personal ad descri8ing what you are looking for in a lady? HA HA HA! MORE CAGEY CUTESY BULLSHIT. LIKE I'M NOT UP TO MY LOBE STEM WITH THAT ALREADY HAVING TO DEAL WITH TEREZI. YOU BOTH MUST HAVE BEEN INSUFFERABLE WHEN YOU WERE A TEAM. YOUR OPPONENTS PROBABLY ALL JUST TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE AFTER A FEW MINUTES OF PUTTING UP WITH YOUR FANGY GRINNED DRIVEL. THAT'S PROBABLY HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN WHEN THE SHIT HIT THE THRESHER. That's not a 8ad guess! 8ut man! Karkat you sure are giving me a hard time. I don't see how we're supposed to 8e 8ecoming friends if you recoil from my olive 8ranch like I'm twitching a mummified 8ovine phallus in your direction. BECOMING FRIENDS, WHAT THE FUCK. WE WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS, MORON. Not even h8 friends? NO. MORE LIKE TWITCHY EYED PROJECTILE VOMITING IN UTTER DISGUST FRIENDS, WHILE I PERFORATE MY BONE BULGE WITH A CULLING FORK. Yessssssss. I'll take it! GET LOST. Anyway, I was just joking a8out wanting to 8e on your team. I'm already on the 8lue team. OH! OH REALLY????? WAIT, LET ME COUNT OUT EIGHT OF THESE THINGS, HOLD ON. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? THERE, I AM NOW AN ENORMOUS TOOL FOREVER. Yes, Aradia and I have an arrangement. We will 8e co-leaders. (But really I will 8e the leader! Heh heh. Shh! Don't tell anyone!) What do you think, Karkat? Can you take on two dangerous laaaaaaaadies at once? YAWN. Come on! Aren't you a little nervous that I will oppose you? You should 8e! NO YOU'RE JUST A RUN OF THE MILL LITTLE PSYCHO GIRL, A TROLL CAEGAR A DOZEN. I'LL BE TAKING APART THE BLUE TEAM WITH BRUTAL EFFICIENCY, YOU'LL SEE. YOU NEVER PLAYED ONE OF YOUR DUMB GAMES WITH ME SO YOU NEVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF SEEING WHAT I CAN DO. ENJOY THE SHOW, SWEETHEART. JUST DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING YOUR MIND CONTROL TRICKS ON MY PLAYERS. REMEMBER YOUR TRUCE? Pshhhhhhhh. Those days are far 8ehind me. Anyway, I can't control just any8ody. They've got to 8e impressssssssiona8le. Like you! YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME. Sure I can. I just choose not to. YEAH OK. I find your mind totally unpalata8le to 8rowse. Looking into your 8rain is like pawing through a smelly dumpster. Full of 8roken glass and razor 8lades! And poop. D:::: WHATEVER, DON'T EVEN TRY IT. I'VE GOT THE BETTER SCOURGE SISTER ON MY TEAM AND IF YOU BREAK YOUR TRUCE YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER TO HER. THE FUNNY THING IS SHE WAS ALWAYS WAY BETTER THAN YOU EVEN WITHOUT ANY POWERS. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I KNOW YOUR WHOLE STORY. YOU WERE ALWAYS JEALOUS SHE COULD MANIPULATE PEOPLE SO WELL WITHOUT RESORTING TO CHEAP MIND TRICKS. HAHA, I CAN TELL THIS BURNS YOU AND I CAN'T EVEN PAW THROUGH YOUR DUMPSTER! CHALK IT UP AS ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY. OH WHAT'S THAT, NOTHING TO SAY? WOW SPEECHLESS I GUESS. YOU'RE PROBABLY CRYING RIGHT NOW. THAT WOULD MAKE MY FUCKING DAY. HEY LOOK AT ME BEING THE ONE TO TALK SHIT AT WARP SPEED THEN LOG OFF BEFORE YOU CAN REPLY. BYE, IDIOT. carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] Oh, 8ack so soon! Did your thum8 slip on the 8utton???????? I guess you can't get enough of me. ::::) YOU MADE ME DO THAT. AND YOU KNOW IT. You 8n't got nothing on me and you can't prove shit!!!!!!!! Anyway, Karkat, I just wanted to say. <3
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