Terezi: Deal with Karkat.
HEY GUESS WHAT, BIG NEWS. LIKE HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES THIS IS A HUMONGOUS DEAL SORT OF NEWS. BL44444RRRRR WH4T 1S 1T YOU'RE NOT THE RED TEAM LEADER. THAT'S ME. I'M THE LEADER. IT'S BEEN DECIDED. ON AN OFFICIAL BASIS. OK SO 1 GU3SS 1M SUPPOS3D TO M4K3 4 B1G ST1NK 4BOUT TH1S 4ND S4Y W4H W4H 1 W4NT TO B3 TH3 L34D3R >:[ >:[ >:[ WHAT, NO. I MEAN YOU CAN BUT IT WON'T DO ANY GOOD BECAUSE I'M THE LEADER AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO EVACUATE THROUGH YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE ON THE MATTER. W3LL 1T M4Y SURPR1S3 YOU TO KNOW TH4T 1 DONT G1V3 4 CR4P WHO G3TS TO B3 L34D3R B3C4US3 UNL1K3 YOU 1 4CTU4LLY H4V3 4 FUCK1NG SM1DG3N OF M4TUR1TY 4ND S3LF R3SP3CT THAT'S A LIE, YOU'RE MORE OF A MELODRAMA SPAZ QUEEN THAN ME AND YOU KNOW IT AND THIS STUFF YOUR SAYING IS A PRETEND STUNT. YOU'RE LIKE A ROCKET PROPELLED SPAZ MAGGOT SPRINGLOADED UP THE ASS OF A PSYCHEDELIC FUCKING FREAKOUT WEASEL ON IDIOT DRUGS SO LETS NOT PLAY MAKEBELIEVE GAMES HERE. LEADER. ME. UUUUUUUUHNG K4RK4T 1 DONT C444R3 YOU C4N B3 TH3 STUP1D L34D3R 1 JUST W4NT TO PL4Y TH1S G4M3 OK, GREAT. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION I HAVE SELECTED YOU TO BE MY SECOND IN COMMAND. R333334444LLY???? SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON >;] <3 <3 <3 FUCK YOU OFFER RESCINDED. OK BUT S3R1OUSLY 1 WOULD H4V3 SUGG3ST3D YOU B3 TH3 L34D3R BUT HON3STLY 1T COM3S W1TH S3R1OUS R3SPONS1B1L1T13S 4ND 1 W4SNT SUR3 1F YOU W3R3 UP TO 1T HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT. I'M AN INCREDIBLE LEADER WITH ALL KINDS OF PRIORITIZATION AND COMMAND SKILLS. I'M GOING TO ROCK THE COCK OFF THIS WEATHERVANE AND THE BLUE TEAM WILL WISH THEY NEVER SLITHERED OUT OF THE MOTHER GRUB'S HEINOUS UNDULATING ASSHOLE. SO JUST GIVE ME THE FULL BRIEFING, WHAT DO YOU KNOW. OK TH3 TH1NG YOU N33D TO KNOW 1S TH3 L34D3R ST4RTS OUT BY RUNN1NG THE CL13NT 4PPL1C4T1ON WH1L3 1 TH3 LOWLY S3COND OFF1C3R CONN3CTS TO YOU W1TH TH3 S3RV3R WH1L3 1 R3M41N G3N3R4LLY 1N 4W3 OF YOUR M4NLY GR4ND3UR 4ND 1 S1T 4T MY COMPUT3R DO1NG M3N14L CHOR3S 1N SUPPORT OF YOUR H3RO1C 3SC4P4D3S WH1CH HON3STLY 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 R34DY FOR BUT WH4T3V3R SEE THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THIS IS WHAT I WAS MADE FOR. BEING IN CHARGE OF ADVENTURE, RUNNING AROUND AND STUFF, AND FUCKING SHIT UP LIKE A GODDAMN HERO WITH A RIPPERWASP IN HIS JOCK. LET'S GET CRACKING HERE. LAUNCH YOUR SERVER OR WHATEVER, I'LL INSTALL THE HERO PROGRAM. TH3 CL13NT YEAH. OK 1F YOU 1NS1ST F4R B3 1T FROM M3 TO STOP YOU FROM B31NG SO D4SH1NG 4ND COUR4G3OUS 4ND TO B3 P3RF3CTLY HON3ST 4 L1TTL3 B1T H4NDSOM3 >:] YES, EXACTLY. NOW YOU ARE MAKING SENSE. THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT SANE PEOPLE SAY. KEEP AT IT, THERE'S HOPE FOR YOU YET. OK 1LL TRY 4NYTH1NG TO G3T YOU TO STOP B31NG SUCH 4 B4BY WHAT'S A BABY. OH 1TS L1K3 4 MYTH1C4L L1TTL3 P1NK MONK3Y SOM3TH1NG MY LUSUS DR34MS 4BOUT I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE. 1 DONT Y3T 1M NOT 4LLOW3D TO WHY NOT? WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MENTIONED THIS ANYWAY? HONESTLY TEREZI IT SOUNDS LIKE MORE FROTHING LOONEYBLOCK NONSENSE. 1F 1 3V3R D1D H4V3 ON3 1T WOULD M34N TH3 WORLD W4S COM1NG TO 4N 3ND OH THANK GOD YOU JUST SAID SOMETHING NORMAL, I WAS STARTING TO WORRY THERE. WHEW BACK IN SANE LAND. 1TS TRU3! >:P 1 DONT COMPL3T3LY UND3RST4ND 1T BUT TH4TS WH4T 1T TOLD M3 WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT FUCKING TREE AND INTO A PROPER GODDAMN LAWNRING. YOU'VE BEEN STUNTED LIVING UP THERE, BY THE WHISPERS OF FUCKING BARK GNOMES OR SOMETHING. I THINK ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS WAS JUST CULLED RECENTLY, MAYBE YOU COULD LIVE THERE. NO W4Y SCR3W L4WNR1NGS!!! MOR3 L1K3 Y4WNR1NGS 1 LOV3 MY TR33! BUT YOUR3 W3LCOM3 TO V1S1T SOM3 T1M3 1TS 3SP3C14LLY N1C3 1N TH3 TH1RD 4UTUMN OK WELL SPEAKING OF THAT I SHOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND DEAL WITH THIS GRUMPY CUSTOMER. IT'S GOING TO FONDLE MAJOR SEEDFLAP, BUT HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE QUICK. YOU CAN ESTABLISH YOUR CONNECTION AND DO YOUR TRIVIAL SIDEKICK STUFF I GUESS IN THE MEANTIME. OK! >:D
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