John: Get trolled by CG again.
OK IT'S A FEW MINUTES LATER. LOOK HOW SANE AND LINEAR WE ARE BEING. yeah! OK AWESOME, NOW FUCK YOU AND GOODBYE. wait! WHAT. i was just looking at all these rascals, and i was wondering... how they go back in time and become us and stuff. does it have something to do with the reckoning? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT. you told me. we had this great dare going. to see who could be the least helpful and informative. and you totally lost, dude! you were hella helpful. I WAS OBVIOUSLY JUST SPITING YOUR STUPID POINTLESS HUMAN DARE. WHAT IS A DARE ANYWAY, IT'S NOTHING. SOMEONE SAYS DO SOMETHING AND THEN, OH LAUGH LAUGH, YOU LOSE IF YOU DON'T DO IT. THAT ISN'T ANYTHING THAT DESERVES A WORD. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR DARE IN OUR LANGUAGE. THE CLOSEST APPROXIMATION WOULD BE "WORTHLESS FUCKING BULLSHIT WASTE OF TIME FOR SILLY LITTLE CHILDREN" oh, wow. is that the title of a movie too? YES, IT'S THE TITLE OF EVERY DUMB MOVIE YOU EVER LIKED. ha ha, that isn't even true and doesn't make sense! ANYWAY, HOW COULD WE HAVE MADE A DARE IF I'M MOVING BACKWARDS ON YOUR TIMELINE. YOU WOULD DARE ME TO DO SOMETHING, THEN I WOULD DO IT NEXT TIME, BUT THEN YOU WOULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE DARE. BECAUSE WE DIDN'T MAKE IT YET. THAT'S WHAT ISN'T TRUE AND DOESN'T MAKE SENSE YOU DAMP BAG OF PUKE. well yeah, the dare never happened, i was joking around and made that up to give you hard time. YOU HAVE SOUNDING STUPID DOWN TO SUCH A SCIENCE. WHERE IS YOUR LAB COAT AND TEST TUBES DOCTOR BRAIN PROFESSOR? i am wearing a lab coat! sort of... YOU LOOK LIKE AN ELF. that's bullshit! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE BLOWING INTO A FUNNY LITTLE SHELL, AND LIMBERING UP FOR A SILLY COOKIE DANCE. do you even have elves? YES, LET'S COMPARE WHICH FANTASY CREATURES THAT DON'T EXIST WE BOTH DO OR DON'T NOT HAVE. WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, JOHN! uh, what? YOU ASKED ABOUT THE RECKONING, SO WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT THAT INSTEAD OF ALL THESE PRETTY MUCH TERRIBLE THINGS. ok. YEAH, SO WHEN THE RECKONING STARTS HAPPENING, ALL THESE PARADOX CLONES GET SHIPPED OFF TO METEORS, FLUNG THROUGH SKAIAN DEFENSE PORTALS, AND SENT BACK TO EARTH. END OF STORY I GUESS. BYE. wait!!! so that means... we are all sort of like superman? UH YEAH, I GUESS. cool! YOU ALL TRACE THE MYTHOLOGICAL FOOTSTEPS OF YOUR BELOVED HUMAN SUPERMAN WHO'S REALLY JUST A MUSCULAR CAUCASIAN ALIEN. IT'S HILARIOUS HOW HUMANS WORSHIP HIM AS A PINNACLE OF HUMAN HEROISM AND VIRTUE BUT HE ISN'T EVEN HUMAN. ACTUALLY IT'S INCREDIBLY PATHETIC. BUT ALSO IN A WAY KIND OF ADMIRABLE. BECAUSE IT MEANS DEEP DOWN YOU ALL MUST REALIZE WHO YOUR DADDY IS. WE ARE, BITCHES. yeah, superman is pretty cool, i guess. did you know nicolas cage was almost going to play superman one time? OH MY THROBBING PHLEGM LOBE, WHO GIVES A BARFING FUCK ABOUT THAT. JOHN EGBERT, YOU HAVE ASSASSINATED MY PATIENCE. ADIOS LOSER. wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get back to me in a couple minutes, ok? SD;LKFJSD;LKFJSDLFKJ; FINE.
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